that thing you're worrying about might happen, but it won't be as painful as you think
thoughts on pain, fear, and changing
You’re born to change
You don’t have to be loyal to your past and your own identity. You have no obligation to your past self, what you did, and who you were. You don’t have to stay the same after going through a challenge. You’re not meant to. You’re meant to live through your experiences, and change because of them. We constantly underestimate our ability to deal with hard things, so we cling on to the past, our old identity, and the things we know. Take it in, accept, don’t reject your emotions. Cut the chords, and don’t look back. Remember, you decides what matters.
The future is waiting for you.
***
Fear
You keep your hands on the brake, holding tight, terrified. Hold tighter and nothing can happen. You learned to live someone else’s dream, but you, you always underestimated your own power. Everything you desire, what if, what if it never happens! What if your dreams don’t come true.
suddenly it hurts
So you tell me, no, I am okay. It’s better to be on the safe side.
I’ll wait here.
***
Don’t change, want less
I did what they told me to do. My therapists, friends, and the world around me told me the exact same thing; adjust my expectations and let go. Accept what you have right now. It worked, of course, because letting go always helps. Appreciating what you have always helps. But I knew something was missing. I felt frustrated because I had decided that the thing that was important to me shouldn’t be.
I decided that the thing that was important to me didn’t matter, but it did. It really did. In the end, I didn’t want to adjust my expectations, I wanted reality to match them.
***
Lose it all and find it again
You will lose it all. How does it feel?
Ownership is an antecedent to loss,
you cannot lose without attachment and ownership
My cell phone was stolen in Cape Town,
You broke my heart on a beach in Barcelona
That apartment I had
No longer mine
You can’t control your future by living in your past
It was never yours
You can try staying the same
Wear the same clothes
Keep your old photographs
Think about your memories
But things still break
Let it go
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