we get to decide what matters
things,
people
commitments
have meaning as long as you decide they do. One day, you can say
this doesn’t matter anymore
and it won’t
it will be the end of it
A job feels empowering until you start considering moving around, or until you start wondering what else you can be doing. Approving product requests and fixing bugs energized you because it meant solving problems for a company you were emotionally and financially invested in. When you decide it doesn’t matter anymore, when you decide to cancel the commitment, tasks can becomes dreadful. What used to be empowering (I get to decide what good looks like on this platform used by a billion people!) becomes stressful (Stop asking me!)
But remember, you can always go back and find motivation again. It’s not lost.
A relationship can fuel you as long as you both decide to love each other. When you choose to stop loving someone, your perception might shift. The things you had the patience for because you were committed to love and the relationship are the things you suddenly start resenting
why am I putting up with this shit
Please commit to love because you can’t run away from pain. Your fears might be realised, but they won’t be as painful as you think. Without trying, you will never experience it at full capacity. Do you want to know what it could feel like?
An experience becomes more valuable if you engage with it thoroughly. Anything else will turn into a distraction. We cannot know when we should commit and when we should quit because this assumes we can predict the future, but we will never know without committing in the first place. At least for a little bit of time. Just give it a little bit of time.
Committing is saying
I am doing this now, and it’s the right choice for now
I know who I am right now
Not committing is saying
I am doing this, but I am not sure if it’s the right choice
I am doing this, but I don’t know who I am
*
Look up, soak up the sun. Look at the sky, see the blue color shifting from blue to red to orange to pink. You planned to wake up at 6 am to run every day this week, but only did it once. Now you hate yourself and find running stupid. Look up, look at the sky. What can you see beyond this week? You hate yourself for not running every morning because you are committed to being a healthy, fit individual. But remember, if you’ve worked out regularly over the last years you are committed to this vision; it’s ok, you move on. What have you always cared about? Start there. Start with everything that always mattered to you. Commit to those things. They are you; you are these things, regardless of how you felt this morning. Focus on your core values, the things that make you feel like you. Resentment, disappointment, and anger come from neglecting these. Where are you hiding?